When Things Come Till The End

将近一年了 我还不是你想要的

这是可悲还是有缘无份

我不是那个她

不是那个她可以给你的温柔

我不是那个她

不是那个她可以对你千依百顺

我不是那个她 可以让你感觉到我对你的爱

你说爱不是这样的

可我给不到你想要的

一个年就这么过去了 多多少少的经历也过了

我们还是不是属于对方的

我还是不是那个你爱的

还是一切都是时候结束了

我喜欢

很感谢你这几天的陪伴 虽然疲惫 但是还保有那一份喜悦

一些小动作 一些简单的文字对话 我都觉得很甜蜜

我对你说 从今开始 你的一辈子都要粘着我 而我的一辈子也要粘着你

你说 我肯定会厌倦 有一天 会嫌弃对方

我说 我喜欢粘着你 不说以后 现在我会珍惜每分每秒的粘着你

我喜欢看着你不论你在做些什么事情

我喜欢看着你睡觉 虽然你总是背对着自己

我就是喜欢粘着你 就算是这一辈子 不管在那里

我也会这样粘着你

what a damn sister

we know her her personality her word her action

she have a strong personality that she proud of

but she never understand herself that what she can and what she cant

she always do things that she cant handle or success but she never blame herself before but others beside her

as family and friends we care bout her given what we can for her

we dint hope for anything but yet she still never appreciated any of it

is she still having a warm heart? or its death

i gave what i can for her i do what i can for her

i dont hope that she can gave what to me just dont hurt me again and again

i put a hope to her but she makes disappointed

i have nothing now i have nothing to give her anymore but she still wish more that i can give to her

she is so selffish and so greedy

please i have nothing for you already so please dont makes my heart brokes agin

你不知道的事

你不知道的事

为了你我改变了许多 我愿意为你做些什么

我想你快乐 在我身边可以得到真正的快乐

我抓不紧你 但却不愿放手

是你正被折磨 还是我在折磨自己

但我却舍不得离开你

但最终 我还是做不到你心里那个一百分的她

失眠和眼泪已经陪伴了我几个夜晚

没有你的夜晚 那温度是多么的寒冷

伸手确抱不住你的影子 一切都远了 不再是从前了

变

我变成了猫头鹰 习惯了早上休息

我变成了另一个自己 格外的想你

但我们不能在一起

对不起 我却抓不紧你

我其实也是自私的

可是我做不到自私的去拥有

可又无可奈何的必需和人分享

人总是矛盾的

如果我有那么果断就好

可是也仅仅是如果

为什么人世间的事总是那么无可奈何

往往想要的总是不敢去得到

有些人则是不惜付出一切代价的去得到

如果换作那些人是你和我

不需要思考我一会不惜一切的代价去得到

这是爱的力量 还是它的自私

love you n me

有你在 不管是星期几 都会是晴天

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

一整天的装扮都是为了今天的面试

我祈祷可以过关

最近空闲得可怜 但已忙碌呢 就要命

人生到底是苦还是甜

但是只要是自己喜欢的 哪怕它苦还是甜

这样对吧

我的新生活 我要开始懂得怎么享受

懂得怎么生存

你

有你在身边的夜晚 我怎么舍得入眠

只想就这样看着你到天亮

我

若不是我的样貌 就没有人会看上我的心

这样的人 是幸运还是可怜

约定

我们若只能在梦里相见 我但愿长眠

还记得当天旅馆的门牌
还留住笑著离开的神态
当天整个城市那样轻快
沿路一起走半哩长街

还记得街灯照出一脸黄
还燃亮那份微温的便档
剪影的你轮廓太好看
凝住眼泪才敢细看

忘掉天地彷佛也想不起自己
仍未忘相约看漫天黄叶远飞
就算会与你分离凄绝的戏
要决心忘记我便记不起
明日天地只恐怕认不出自己
仍未忘跟你约定假如没有死
就算你壮阔胸膛不敌天气
两鬓斑白都可认得你

还记得当天结他的和弦
还明白每段旋律的伏线
当天街角流过你声线

------约定-------

the way i love

the way i feel its not belonging

not belong to each other

the each you doesn't feel to being forever and don't even trusted

i'm just a passenger passing your life

the love is not sincere

but please let me tell you one more time

i love you

i'll make a wish

let the times flow back

back to the time to get back your truth happiness

this the way i love you

pity legs

The 5th day pass

my legs starting to get recover, but it so itchy

I try to control myself don't scratch it more

i afraid it will leave scar on my legs

my pity legs i love them much even my skin and cells

i love all part of my body

i love myself , so i need to take good care of it

so i need to make it pretty too^^

i wish that i could wearing short pants or skirt walking around

but now i dont dare to step out of my house

the word on my mind was theres dirt outside

i'm over thinking cause this is a really serious things for me

in my life time i wont be happen again

不再

我们不能再像从前

你说我们都错了

我们彼此都遇上错的人

我们不属于对方

但是我们相爱

对不起 我不是你想要的

我没有资格做到

你给的幸福不属于我

对不起让自己遇上了你 对不起因为我自己伤害了你

我是心痛的 但也不能弥补了

我希望你快乐 没有了我你会快乐

忙碌的星期六

一早七点就起床

冲凉 化妆

第一次拍个人相 不知道自己会不会表现好 但是觉得很酷

但摄影师迟到了 一个钟 他睡过头了

一上车 他带了好多东西

说相机配备好了

六个长架式闪光灯 一个studiolight(一个都要比普通外面的贵三倍）

背景 服装 摆设品 配备都很齐全

我们的主题是要拍一些特别的东西

已开始找的abandon house很不顺利 要不是私人的 要不就不准进入

还好最后有个地方我差点都忘了

是个不错的拍照地点

但是差点要了我的命 蚊子超多

我就像是他们的午餐 也不知道他们有没有毒

在我身上咬了几百口 我可怜的肌肤

我会补偿你们的

但也很对不起babe我知道你担心我

可是你总该信任我 我会为了你好好照顾我自己 我的承诺我会遵守

到回来 拍了很多不同的角度 不同的姿势

摄影师说好才我平时有看杂志 知道post大概怎样摆 所以还算顺利的

而且我够瘦 都是骨 就因为是骨 我的手腕和脚踝都不好看 因为骨太大了

要抓角度拍才好看

还才有摄影师的技术 拍出来的照片都好看

他说我看起来很甜美而且会放电

身形穿比基尼很好看

可是我跟他说 我的身形有很多缺点 是超多

他说我的缺点在他眼总是优点

我都掉了三条线

本来是打算隔天早上再拍的

因为时间真的不够用 带来的衣服 配备 都没用到很多

一整个下午在喂蚊子

然后傍晚要赶回来聚餐

真的好赶 想找点回家冲凉

哪个地方真的很脏

回到家冲了不到5分钟的凉就要出去了




聚餐后去了一年一度的BONＯDORI

可惜我来不及回家换YUKATA 就便装去了

好才还来得及看烟花 很久没看了

烟花的灿烂 几分钟后就消失了 所以大舅说最美的那一幕都收在眼里了



回到家 摄影师就把部分的照片传给我 我觉得漂亮 另一个不一样的自己 是个新的体验

不好才的是 隔天一睡醒 我的脚终于敏感了 好像出红疹那样 好严重

第一次那么伤害自己的皮肤 我想哭

days and weeks

the busy days and weeks started

getting tired and tired

sleepy and sleepy

things cant done well and seem everythings mess u in this moment

many events getting around many things going to happen

24hr a day is not enough for me even 48hr

my health getting worse and as well my skin function

my face look so peel but i still have a photo shoot and event celebration this saturday

its my first shooting

photographer was asked me do i dare or not to make things over

said the part of dare i do dare to do things if it was legal

hope it will be a well done in my shooting

out fit was : japanese yukata, sexy dress, beach style

recently i have been selected by some company of model and actress

its feel so fun and excited that i have been selected

we dont know things end but we hope for well

so i'll look forward to it :)

have a nice day girls

gain the way

why i try to work hard but my heart still no into it

i aim to get more better to gain more perfect

but still i make mistake even thou i have totally understanding on it

the moment started i feel so useless

i cant do anything better

how could i how would i how should i

i feel tired of it but yet still i need to fight on it

this the only way i could still gain

mad

wwhy student always do last minute job

why they never think to learn things first

why they never want to try to figure out the problem

i''m also a student i'll worry bout my lesson and studies

i would like to try and learn all things

why could others dont?

i'm not the leader

but seem i'm only the one who keep bother who keep begging

why i need to do all of this? its not only for me but us our group

i try to be patient but the feels come to me is you all feel thats was nothing

did you all really care bout it?

i care it much.. its for my like and future

i dont wanna get worse again

please warm it up i need the cooroprate

thank you

I Do

I do anything i could for you

I give anything that i have to for you

I dint wish for any appreciate word from you

just dont put any blame word to me

You and i are the same we'r human and the most is we having everthing same

every human will feel tired or anything else as i do

you put your word on yourself mention how poor are you but seem things that you done are nothing

but how am I? I same as you but i dint blame before and i do appreciated what i have

and the worse that you still dont know what you have and what you having from

its sad that i know

i love you as same as my family

I'll give all i have to you

but you and your word was breaking me and my heart

should i still keep giving to you? should i still love you as last as i love you?

Please i dont wish things turn bad

think deeply how was your life gone? anythings that you need to appreciate? anything you need to care? think it correctly

you always think out of mind, you doesnt know which the correct way you going to

i wish you to be good well and great

may god bless you

gossip girl

I think to have an cheer big fun and crazy party

invited all pretty that being invited

getting a whole night cheers with pretty babes really sound good

one in my life time i need to have this once

this my plan getting start now

get to know more pretty and get rich to book the whole club as private under my name

its like gossip girl in the upper societ

it was amazing like a dream in the night

i wish for the dream come true ^^

XOXO gossip girl

please clicks

忙

忙忙忙 最近都在忙 不过不知道自己在忙些什么

翻翻翻 最近都很烦 不过不知道自己在烦些什么

不想让自己的脑袋转 但它自己却不能停下来

这两个月的工作行程 都已经给我姐排得满满的了

再加上考试 我整个人就像熊猫那样

在想着你帮我举办的生日会 我该不该出席

但是主角怎又可能不出席呢

一整天都在想有的美的不知道会不会坏脑

我需要休息 好才这几天没有发梦

要不然我就累垮了

你说你觉得我爱你不够深

爱你不比他们来得多

我想说 对你的爱 比他们来得还要无法自拔

我爱深了 爱透了 爱得无药可救了

从前·现在

我的曾经有很多污点

你说我是坏女孩

我在学乖 已经变乖了

就像是人总说的黑总永远不能变白

我依然得不到你的信任 还是我根本不值得信任

我在努力的弥补 改变我的曾经

但我是不是就那么的不值得

谢谢你的爱 谢谢你的付出

我想的是 别为我太多

我总觉得自己不值得

今年的生日不大想过 也不想人们去记得

因为她不特别

自己长大了思想也和以前不一样了

我觉得差距好大

从前 我们一早就开始策划着那天的来临

现在 我想让人们忘了这一天的存在

简单

最近期中考

忙着做准备

但是第一颗已经烤焦了

需要更加的努力 别在胡思乱想 别再玩

这几天也在找着情侣装

因为babe想要跟我穿一样的衣服去街街

网上看了很多 但全都是预购的要不然就是厂商在国外

等到来就已经过了我的生日

本想在我生日时把你想要的当做你已过去的生日礼物送给你

当算是个补偿 所以我一定要找到

我的生日有个愿望

我告诉你想你帮我实现

可是我跟你说时机到我就会让你知道 你开始猜测了

我只想在生日当天见到你把那份礼物送给你

我觉得很开心 幸福

知道你想要帮我举办个生日会

我要的不多只要有你的心什么都好

哪怕只是个祝福语

只要是从你口中说出的我就满足了

你说你给不到我惊喜

没关系 只要简简单单的你和我 就已经足够了

babe谢谢你的爱 谢谢你的温柔

我爱你

苦口良药

第一次的考试 我烤焦了

只是用想的认为自己可以

可是不是 成功的背后一定要做些努力

光想是没有的

我是时候专心了 逼自己一下

做一次性的东西好过拖拖拉拉

书也是会过期的 所以在截止日期前把它啃了吧

苦口良药 是学生们的需要 TT

i love you loving me too

our distance seem like getting far and far

what you doin there? how was you being there?

i couldn't get a answer from your voice

and it lesser in word

do you miss me?

i miss you missing me

i understand you having your life and you should having your own free time

but i couldn't stop my mind to keep thinking

you fully in my mind no matter my mind is blank or full

its only you

it was a deep? fall in love?

you were the one can let me fall how deep i willing to be

i love you .. i love you loving me too

累

最近都好累 一直在发梦

即使一下子的午睡都可以发梦

所以每次一倒下床就睡着了

睡得越久就越累

可是我好像睡

别再梦了 我不想累

mad

is a busy and tiring day

non-remembered lecture

i hate to get disturb when i was sleeping.. extreamly mad

and i hate they keep calling my name in fully three word

my shout out '' please dont call my name again''

it really get mess in my webpage assignment, non of us know what is happenning

and the plan always not the plan..

whats thats so difficult for us? just code.. and its enough tough

who can help me and we? i and us need a hand

i want perfect work but i dint have perfect brain.. whyyy

its all regarding to econs

human wants unlimited but resources are limited

how can it fulfill us?

i need more power.. please bless me

thank you

sweetie

I like this background of my blog that I set

I love the person and like to being with her much

I hope to stick with her whenever she or me going

eventhought we was living far from each other but we still meet up with each other last week

really feel happy to stick with you

we having our late lunch in T.O.S

Its late because of me always being late.. sorry babe i'll try to get my time reduce and thanks for your patient too ^^

We waiting for my meal while you playing ' me and your' phone and keep capturing me

by the way i'm look doesn't nice on that day

my meal come all my food being capture but just not yours haha

and you was @@

I like to being the day with you sweetie

to my love - 可以把我们联系在一起的东西越来越少了，请别把我们的爱给降温了

厌倦

相见的人不代表是可以相处的

在这短暂的相处

我觉得好疲累 好烦

你们没有共同的地方 我试着迁就

但是忍耐也时有个限度

我厌倦了当传话筒 厌倦了你们24个小时都在叫着我的名字

一开始的胡闹我接受 但日子久了这不是习惯了 而是厌倦了

我宁愿一个人生活

宁愿空间里只有自己心里的声音 哪怕我会怀念从前

但我也不想厌倦我的未来

我选择离开

爱

是爱深了 还是无法自拔了

开始什么都在意和在乎了 哪怕是些小事

但我从不挂在嘴边

希望你能在自己的身边 这似乎不可能

我们都知道原因

你不想让我失望 但我宁愿失望只想渴求那一点点的希望

爱上你 不需要理由 你到底懂不懂

Ms leo

the moment began i being alone

is it the place i wish to? or the feel i need to?

in the pass i wishing i could staying alone to let me enjoy the moment

but now i feel that being alone is being separated from the world

does it felt bad?

i could cope it, this who i'm

Ms leo

一个

想着没什么 但却有点伤感

上不是因为孤单 是因为自己在人群里却还觉得孤单

想着想着 我还是一个

想

想着那无人的夜晚 会有点害怕

但是还假装坚强

我想要你的陪伴 想就这样抱着你到天亮

什么都不想

好想再抱着你的温柔 直到把眼睛闭上

什么都不想

好想 即使得不到也要尽快的睡着

因为 在梦里还有另一个你在等待着自己

我爱你

I miss you missing Me

Someone tell me, you found somebody

found some body new

i'm happy for you, maybe thats why i don't hear from you

like i used to like a faded photograph out moment in the pass sometimes

I miss you missing Me

calling me on the phone asking me how i doing asking if i alone

I miss you missing Me

guess you wont be asking bout me when you see my friends, guess that had to end

i won be hearing what you been up to, like i used to had our time our time has passed

no there's no going back

sometimes

I miss you missing Me

when someone call me up at night

i hold my breath i close my eyes

i wait and hope and pray it will be you

call me on the phone

ask me how i'm doing, asking me if i'm alone

I miss you missing Me

I miss you missing Me

Someone tell me, you found somebody

found some body new

i'm happy for you, maybe thats why i don't hear from you

like i used to like a faded photograph out moment in the pass sometimes

I miss you missing Me

calling me on the phone asking me how i doing asking if i alone

I miss you missing Me

guess you wont be asking bout me when you see my friends, guess that had to end

i won be hearing what you been up to, like i used to had our time our time has passed

no there's no going back

sometimes

I miss you missing Me

when someone call me up at night

i hold my breath i close my eyes

i wait and hope and pray it will be you

call me on the phone

ask me how i'm doing, asking me if i'm alone

I miss you missing Me

回忆

一整天下来的忙碌 还要承担一大堆的人际

这样的方案是不是错了

想变得更好但却好像慢慢的疏远了

是人在变还是日子今时不同往日

每每的从前都是美好的

所以人总喜欢回忆过去

想你了 想你们了

我也想回到过去

回忆总是美好的

sunshine love

Good morning sunshine

the new day morning, i miss you deeply again and again

every moment i hope that i can stay beside you even just a close sight

i miss your warm your fever

you were the one who let me feel really hapiness now

I love You babe

the deepest love that no word could be mention

fulfillment

Its was a tiring day, I miss my bed when the time i wake up, its mustn't leave me

I try to keep concentrate and energy in my classes, but I still falling a sleep

It was really a bad feel when you start to dream but your ear still hearing somethings and it was from the lecture, thats was a torturing for me

My class end with an empty stomach and tired soul

which should i choose to fulfill my needs first?

For pass I'll choose to fulfilling my soul first cause i dont even care will i really get gastric

but now I need to care bout it , if it started and it will come badly to me

D0ne to fulfilling my stomach next is my soul

Soul will always have not enough of fulfillment even that how early you sleep or how long time you sleep also will feel not enough

Its really not enough for me to sleep less than one hour and i need to wake up and clean my house to fulfill my skin in a clean environment, this what girls and i care the most

All have been done and again is the time to fulfill me and my housemate stomach

Prepared dish for the dinner tonight, somethings simple that I can make it taste

The last part of the day to fulfill my edu care needs, need for my knowledge need for my future and need for my CGPA

The last but not lease is I miss you deeply

p/s : who the one? you should know ^^

过去 现在 未来

想说 我的天

是自己没恢复记忆还是我根本就没有记忆

我让你登入了自己以前的部落格

我忘了自己有多久没在那里出没

我以为已经很久了 就没去回忆了

但是那里最后的一篇文章 还是同一个年份的

那篇文章里叙述了第一次的我们

我也忘了那一篇回忆我会把它放在文字里

你开始翻阅我的曾经 而我开始紧张

我不知道你的思想 不知道你觉得的曾经和现在是否一样 还是不是你喜欢的

总觉得自己的过往都是不好的 不知道你还能不能接受自己

我在乎你 在乎你的看待 在乎你的一点一滴

我只想把快乐带给你 而不是悲伤

我的过去复杂而混乱

即使那仅仅只是个过去 我觉得还是个污点

虽然自己没有那么地承认过 但是还是间接的接受了

过去的自己我想让人看到自己真实的心

就用一个躯体掩盖了一切

我还是自己 不管是过去还是未来

我的心也在你那里 不管是现在还是未来

完美

日子的摧残 自己变得更加憔悴

想做很多事情 想把一切都变得更好

哪怕自己没有这种能力 但是还是想让自己试试看

人总说别让自己做后悔的事 但若什么都不做 人该怎么成长

有些人都说 人总该跌倒后才会学习成长

我想要茁壮的成长

我不想要只是仅仅的好而已 而是更好

成绩我也想要比谁来的都更好

人往往都是在想 如果人能继续踏进接下来的脚步 一切都可以变得更完美

我也要这一种的完美

One and a half month

Passing by one and a half month, I could able to feel your warm, see your eyes .

Hug you tightly as we dint't see each other a period of time.

I do appreciated you willing to being here for me.

Sorry that I owning you such a long time, you'r tired with you family stuff recently

But I still asking from you, my heart feeling painful when my eyes look at you, my decision and my selfhood makes you even more tired and languish.

I miss you much, very much it since the moment when you disappear from my eye sight.

Its was like a dream that you were being beside me and I'm feeling your temperature.

I treasured the moment with you, scared that if I wake up it all was just a dream.

If its the fact I wish that I never wake up again.

Its really feeling sweet when i have the moment being with you, your hug is so warm for me.

Its make my heart pain again when I saw your tears dropping, i don't know what reason is it and i dint't question much.

Bringing my warm for you to let you feel as what I feel on you.

You'r my beloved the one i love for my life

Q~ When was the date we would feel the warm from each others again?